7/27/2006

Dear Dad...

A FATHER PASSING BY HIS SON'S BEDROOM WAS ASTONISHED TO SEE THE BED WAS NICELY MADE AND EVERYTHING WAS PICKED UP. THEN HE SAW AN ENVELOPE PROPPED UP PROMINENTLY ON THE CENTER OF THE BED. IT WAS ADDRESSED, "DAD"

WITH THE WORST PREMONITION, HE OPENED THE ENVELOPE AND READ THE LETTER WITH TREMBLING HANDS:


DEAR DAD,


IT IS WITH GREAT REGRET AND SORROW THAT I'M WRITING THIS. I HAD TO ELOPE WITH MY NEW GIRLFRIEND BECAUSE I WANTED TO AVOID A SCENE WITH MOM AND YOU. I'VE BEEN FINDING REAL PASSION WITH BARBARA AND SHE IS SO NICE EVEN WITH ALL HER PIERCING, TATTOOS, AND HER TIGHT MOTORCYCLE CLOTHES. BUT IT'S NOT ONLY THE PASSION, DAD - SHE'S PREGNANT AND BARBARA ASSURES ME THAT WE WILL BE VERY HAPPY. EVEN THOUGH YOU DON'T CARE FOR HER SINCE SHE IS SO MUCH OLDER THAN I AM, SHE ALREADY OWNS A TRAILER IN THE WOODS AND HAS A STACK OF FIREWOOD ENOUGH FOR THE WHOLE WINTER. SHE WANTS TO HAVE MANY MORE CHILDREN WITH ME AND THAT'S NOW ONE OF MY DREAMS TOO. BARBARA TAUGHT ME THAT MARIJUANA DOESN'T REALLY HURT ANYONE AND WE'LL BE GROWING IT FOR OURSELVES AND TRADING IT WITH HER FRIENDS FOR ALL THE COCAINE AND ECSTASY WE NEED. IN THE MEANTIME, WE PRAY THAT SCIENCE WILL FIND A CURE FOR AIDS SO THAT BARBARA CAN GET BETTER; SHE SURE DESERVES IT!!

DON'T WORRY, DAD, I'M 15 YEARS OLD NOW AND I KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF. SOMEDAY I'M SURE WE'LL BE BACK TO VISIT SO YOU CAN GET TO KNOW YOUR GRANDCHILDREN.


YOUR SON, JOHN



PS. DAD, NONE OF THIS IS TRUE. I'M OVER AT BILLY'S HOUSE. I JUST WANTED TO REMIND YOU THAT THERE ARE WORSE THINGS IN LIFE THAN MY REPORT CARD WHICH IS IN MY DESK CENTER DRAWER. I LOVE YOU!



PS.S. CALL WHEN IT'S SAFE FOR ME TO COME HOME

8 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sounds like a smart kid!! See, your's is fantastic compared to this kid. Keep on loving him and both of you will survive.

Love ya',

Stormdancer

July 27, 2006 11:32 AM  
Blogger Marietta Zervou said...

I had a bad feeling when I started reading this, but as it unfolded I thought this is going to be funny.
It's hilarious! What a smart kid indeed!!!

I'm just saying a brief goodbye before I fly off to Athens tomorrow for my summer vacation.

Enjoy the rest of the summer and see you back soon...
xoxoxo
M
PS: we miss you at the chats.

July 28, 2006 3:18 PM  
Blogger PTfan said...

Well that's pretty funny. When I started it, I was trying to think of the character's names in your story to see if it was chapter 7, but it's not!

July 28, 2006 8:02 PM  
Blogger lryicsgrl said...

Where have you been? What have you seen?

Good story. Great moral.

Hope you are well....

-SUE

August 04, 2006 12:28 PM  
Blogger Mike S said...

Hey Ric how are ya? I don't keep
people's blog links so the only
way to find my way back to some
of the cool folks like yourself
has to be this way,through links
of other cool people.

Hope you're keepin' busy rock n'
and rollin'.

I took the history if rock quiz
and didn't fare all to well,as
I got 9 out of 15.More of the
modern questions like N'Sync
got me! LOL!

August 06, 2006 2:45 PM  
Blogger JLee said...

Hey KidRic!! what's happening? I love that story...why couldn't I have thought of that as a teenager?

August 06, 2006 10:43 PM  
Blogger Lori said...

just stopping in to say hello. this story is hilarious!!!

August 12, 2006 11:33 AM  
Blogger Fleur de Bee said...

ROFL!!! Hey looks like I am not the only one trying to check in here! I was going to go to NYC to see Rachel perform but can't. However I may go host a blunch up there and I still plan on heading to VA to see my Grandmother. We need to do a blunch there as well.

Hit me up and let me know how you are and where you dissapeared to all this time!

XX-M.

August 14, 2006 4:15 AM  

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