Funatical Words...

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again
asked readers to take any word from the dictionary,
alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one
letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the
2005 winners:

1. Cashtration (n): The act of buying a house, which
renders the subject financially impotent for an
indefinite period.

2. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund,
which lasts until you realize it was your money to
start with.

3. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

4. Bozone (n): The substance surrounding stupid people
that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone
layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking
down in the near future.

5. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for
the purpose of getting laid.

6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic
wit and the person who doesn't get it.

8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you
are running late.

9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease (This one got
extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is, like,
sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And
then, like, the Earth explodes and it's, like, a
serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n): The grueling event of getting
through the day consuming only things that are good
for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to
seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic fit (n): The frantic dance you
perform just after you've accidentally walked through
a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n): Satan in the form of a mosquito,
that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning
and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor (n): The color you turn after finding
half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

18. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an
asshole.

"THOUGHT FOR THE DAY.... Some people are like
Slinkies... Not really good for anything, but they
still bring a smile to your face when you push them
down a flight of stairs.

Peace, love and light to one and all,
Ric