OLDTIMERS

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench
under a tree when one turns to the other & says "Slim, I'm 83 years old
now & I'm just full of aches & pains. I know you're about my age. How do
you feel?"
Slim says "I feel just like a newborn baby."
"Really? Like a newborn baby?"
"Yep. No hair, no teeth, & I think I just wet my pants!"


Three old guys are out walking.
First one says "Windy, isn't it?"
Second one says "No, it's Thursday!"
Third one says "So am I. Let's go get a beer."


Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street w/a
gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris & said "You're really
doing great, aren't you?"
Morris replied "Just doing what you said, Doc ...'Get a hot mamma & be
cheerful.'"
The doctor said "I didn't say that. I said ... 'You've got a heart murmur;
be careful.'"


A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor & pulled himself
slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath, he ordered
a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly,” Crushed nuts?"
"No," he replied, "Arthritis."

Happy New Year to one and all.

Peace, love and light,
Ric